9.17.2009

No time for introductions...


This is my rockband's first CD.

We're pretty hardcore. To get this picture, we actually flung a dude off of the cliffs of the famed town of Ronda while in a helicopter, and then took a photo of him. We're so hardcore, we named our band Osmoxylon Ellipsoideum. Are you wiki-ing that right now? Amateur.

We're a power metal band. Our first song was about eating chickens and spitting them at people. Then we did this song about robots. Not mecha or "I Robot" robots, but hardcore "lost in space" types with the fucking vacuum tubes and the grabby claws. Better to pinch your ass with, medear.

We growl like rabid kittens. We feed by grazing. We brought peace to the Middle-East. We've got 24 hour access to Obama's X-box.

Our third song is just the scream of that one guy falling off a cliff in an endless loop. Some guys bought it off I-Tunes and used it as a menu song for this one weird flick called "Anklebiters". That's why you've probably heard of us.

"That you live, if you do!" is our band's philosophy and motto. For this reason, we drip hydrochloric acid into our eyes to train ourselves to survive when the inevitable Wave of Metal destroys all other life on Earth.

When we went on tour in Japan, we slept with like a million Japanese girls. That's why you can find Japanese people with copious amounts of body hair nowadays.

Our mouths are so filthy we fucked your mother. We dress so bad we eat barbeque sauce. Yet, we have made mad men Buddhist. Encoded in our lyrics is the the path to enlightenment. Listening to us will make you an Agora mystic, for we are the Dreamlands.

Buy my fucking CD.

1 comment:

Mr. Jack Happy said...

O MAN I TTLY REMMBER YER SONG IN ANKELBITERS THAT MOVEI WAS SWEET DUDE! ROCK ON \\|||//