Drowning in my pwn spit

That typo wasn't originally intentional but then I realized it's the first time I've ever made that typo so I'm keeping it you motherfuckers.

Don't try and stop me, I'm on a roll.

So since this blasted studio has finally started, I'm going to now post all my webcomic reviews and musing here, as well as stuff that I don't want my mother to read and at any rate, it's good that she doesn't read the internet anyway. I can sense that you don't care, and I don't care that you don't care, because I'm cutthroat and that's what bastards like us do. Mean things. Evil things. Cutthroat things.

A little bit about me :

I own the fastest ship in the world, the Drippy Pussy. I named the ship that because it sounds awful and not even the worst pirates want to say it, so they call it "The-ship-who-shall-not-be-named" which brings me to my next point: Voldemorts' real name should have been Leaky Pussy Wound and then people would REALLY understand why he should not be named. Ha- ha! Gross!

My crew :

I came up with a name for them which sounded awesome, like "Shit-stompers" or something but I ended up calling them "fuckers" instead. So it's Captain Cutthroat and the Fuckers.

What's up with the pirate thing anyway :

I will fucking cut you down with my hook foot.

Hook foot? Isn't that a bit...impractical :

That's not what your mom said when I fucked her with it and then because it's a hook grabbed on to her intestines and yanked them out of her still oozing cunt.

... :

Yeah, that's what I thought.

Ha-ha! Gross!

P.S. Picture has nothing to do with anything related to me as a captain, the boots are very unprofessional.


Johnny Despair, Esq. said...

I...who are you?

Jaysus Criost a week in and we're already going to the dogs.

Red X said...

You're scary!

Mr. Jack Happy said...

What is not nearly as sexy as that picture is the video of the pirate tripping around in the sand in those heels approximately fifty thousand billion times, before ultimately the photographer just Fireman-carried her over.

Captain Cutthroat said...

Who are any of us? Who are you my friend? I vote we all look deep inside our gullets and try and understand the baby pirate in all of us.

Then eat it.